Liberté, Égalité, Productivité: Bridging the Franco-American Communication Divide

And, what parenting across culture teaches those in power

He was a seasoned executive from a French multinational, a corporate star who was known for—and proud of—delivering results. Fluent in English, he had lived and worked around the world, making him a natural choice to lead a large division in the US. Thrilled by the opportunity, he packed his bags and headed to South Carolina, a land of cold iced teas and warm people known for their southern hospitality. 

But there would be no southern comfort in the months ahead. 

At first blush, the executive’s mission was straightforward, if not simple: revive the sales and marketing teams to get buy-in on a new strategy to recoup lost market share. He would inspire change from within, winning over the company’s 4,000 employees and satisfying existing clients.

While the executive’s leadership skills were highly honed, they were not attuned to leading American teams, especially ones steeped in the culture of the American South. 

1. He was direct and demanding <translation> cold and confrontational.
   The standard French leadership style of tough feedback came off as arrogant in South Carolina. What the French perceive as “clear,” Americans interpret as “hurtful.” His demanding tone deadened any discussion, leaving him perplexed as to why they didn’t respond with analytical arguments and alternate ideas. His new team felt silenced, and they shut down.

2. Even when pleased with results, he didn’t show praise <translation> he failed to motivate.
   The executive was tough, knowing that in France, criticism helps create better work. He looked for improvement, rather than recognize the work that was done. But in the US, people expect positive motivation. Feedback is often delivered as a “sandwich”: say something good, then share constructive criticism, and end with optimism. In other words: two soft layers with the meat inside. 

3. He didn’t blend personal and professional <translation> he didn’t care.
   In France, executives keep their personal and professional lives separate; it’s perfectly normal not to talk about families at work. But in the States, executives proudly display framed pictures of their spouse and kids. While the French find this kind of small talk unprofessional or intrusive, Americans consider it friendly. These conversations soften the image of an executive, making them more human, more accessible. By drawing the curtain between his personal and professional lives, the executive dug his own grave.

This case presents a fascinating study in cultural difference, which I learned moving to lead a French team after running women’s footwear at Nike in the US. Why are the French and US cultures so different? People in all countries are shaped by their cultures and educational systems. Not understanding this drove the executive (and me) into management dead-ends.

In the US, leaders of all stripes are encouraged to be positive and democratic. Certainly not all executives heed this advice—Steve Jobs was famous for his autocratic approach. But in the wake of “Lean In” style leadership, an effective leader is largely considered one who motivates and builds self-esteem in teams. It’s the way we encourage initiative and risk-taking. If you’re afraid to fail, you take fewer risks. 

In France, pushback and disagreement dates back 400 years to René Descartes. The Cartesian "thèse-antithèse-synthèse" approach fosters a culture where individuals are encouraged to present counter arguments, thereby facilitating a full analysis of issues before arriving at a decision. The executive misinterpreted the lack of counterarguments from his team as agreement, failing to realize that Americans might not directly confront their superiors, even when they disagree. 

When I teach my students about leading cross-cultural teams, we explore this illuminating example of good intentions gone wrong. The executive wasn’t trying to be cold or tyrannical; he was just leading the way he always had, which yielded excellent results in other countries. 

When I worked in France, I learned to manage my teams by observing my young children at local schools. (Here we are in the South of France, where we moved for my work at Nordstrom.) As I watched my kids obey the French teachers’ precise directions, I learned to be more specific and demanding with my teams. It worked!  

In my upcoming book, I devote a whole chapter to building teams across cultures. With more focus on DEI, some think all they have to do is hire a bunch of diverse people and hope for the best. But it’s not about diversity per se. You can’t throw a variety of people with different styles into a room and expect them to work their magic. You have to actively empower the benefits of diversity.

I liken a leader with high cultural intelligence (CQ) to a skilled conductor, creating harmony by integrating and empowering the diversity within the team. This is exactly what the French executive did by reshaping his approach. He learned about the US culture and taught the team about France with cross-cultural specialists helping them understand hidden expectations and intentions. He offered positive encouragement and showed greater interest in his team’s personal lives. The learning and benefits went both ways. As the team in South Carolina gained an appreciation of his behavior, together, they found common ground in communication and delivered bottom line results. 

And I learned not to talk about my children at work. When it comes to developing greater cultural intelligence, I’d say everyone earned a trophy. 

To learn more about my work as an author, speaker, and consultant, visit katherinemelchiorray.com. If you’re eager to unlock strategies and best practices on building business and teams across cultures, subscribe to this Substack for information on my upcoming book, Brand Global, Adapt Local.